i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
