She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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