the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
