My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
