my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
