I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
