the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
