It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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