Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
