how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
