I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
