3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
organizing the empties. That sober.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
