i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
