I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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