all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
