drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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