He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
