So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
