your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
