we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
