Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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