i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
