I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
