i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont even know how to be here
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
