my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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