Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
