He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is wine microwaveable?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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