i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
As shirtless as possible
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
