census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
