3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
