You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
