haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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