Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
