You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
