Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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