do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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