i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
