my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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