Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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