I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
