Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
