Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They are going to name an STD after you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize