Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
