I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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