just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
