elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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