we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
