chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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