Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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