No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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