Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
