whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
