Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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