Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This baby is an asshole
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
