ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
