Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
