dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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