hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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