I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
