I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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