i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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