Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
