i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
