i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
