Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
