fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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