I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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