hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
