it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize