mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
