I wish I could punch you in the face.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
