then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
