Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
