so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
