google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
