im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
