Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
