It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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