And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize