If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
