They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ketchup is God's man juice
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
