Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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