She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
