I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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