I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
